MAN MOVIE MONTH

The nail that sticks out gets hit

 

i have that travel alarm clock

 

 

2019 ITS THE FUTURE

The proposition: Australians do it one way

Australia

It's hot

It's dusty

Lots of flies and flash thunderstorms, it's Christmas time. 

 

After a brutal massacre of a local family, a bounty is placed on the head of the Burns Family by the local law enforcement. A shootout at a brothel leads to a few dead, 2 Burns brothers captured, and an ultimatum from the Police captain - "bring in your other brother or this brother's hanging on Christmas."

 

The captain does what he can to keep his wife protected from danger and the discomfort of knowing the news - it was her friends who were killed so mercilessly, one was even with child! 

 

With one brother waiting in jail, the other travels across the land by horse to find the other brother. There's a spear, copper stomping, and some pretty gruesome scenes. Seriously. 

 

 

 

The grand duel: lee van cleef is a badass

 

The Patriach of an evil family is shot in a dim, steamy moonlight train station. A talented gunfighter is on the run after being accused of the murder and there's a reward for his collar. Gangs and lone bounty hunters are out on the hunt. Rolling into a town on the outskirts, a stagecoach is stopped and everyone is told to stay inside

 

But not lee van cleef

Aka the former Sheriff of Jefferson

Aka Angel eyes

Aka Clayton

 

There's a chase, a few explosions, a machine gun, and a duel. 

 

 

 

Spacehunter:brats in space

 

 

1983, a post-Star Wars, pre-bratpack, post-mad max (1979's Mad Max) galaxy episode: not the original space western, not a pure comedy of the human experience, awesome vehicles though. 

 

This film received good reviews! It was originally released as a gimmicky 3D but has been re released without. Special effects aren't anything outside the realm of a big budget westerns but the costumes and wardrobe are awesome. Tons of rubber/latex body costumes. The picture was scored with a full orchestra so you can tell they wanted this thing to be epic - exploding pirate ship railroad train.

 

Wolff, a rakish space tramp/mercenary/contractor/self employed entrepreneur hears a distress call from a downed ship on the planet of argon 2 (or some other spacey-sounding name) and there's a reward in the monetary designation of "megs" and it's never really explained how much that is but 500 is good, 750 is better. Molly ringwold plays a real shit: whiny, disagreeable, and needy, always insisting that she's an Earther. An old war buddy (Washington) of Wolff's shows up and they're both on the same job. There's negotiation and blah blah and there's these lagoon ladies? A guy named Overdog controls "the graveyard" in "the zone" which looks like burning man's bartertown built out of spent machine parts and tetanus. 

 

 

Imagine star wars was creepy, went on a date with David Lynch's Dune with a side of Peter Jackson's Bad taste all mixed up with cliche dialogue, pop culture references and a few curse words. Spacey damsels in distress, intergalactic coming of age, an explosion filled spectacle for the macho dudes: this show is action packed.

 

 

fire and ice: what should we name our band

 

Ralph bakshi and frank frazetta's animated masterpiece

 

Good and evil 

Oppressed and oppressor

Sword and spear and battle axe

Armies of subhumans

Flights of dragonhawks 

A damsel

A leviathan 

 

This is the imagery heavy metal songs are written about. 

 

An all powerful white haired young wizard named Necron and his mother, Juliana, have begun the takeover of the realm. A refugee from one of the regions escaped the clutches of their minions to meet Teegra, the daughter of the (king?) of another region. She's unseasonably dressed in a purple bikini THE WHOLE MOVIE and she's running through a glacier. 

 

Regardless you should see this movie and start a metal band plain and simple.

 

 

 

Malibu Express: so many tits

 

A 1985 action adventure comedy of cliche, written directed and produced by Andy Sidaris (Im already a fan!) takes place in hot, sexy Malibu California. 

 

Cody Abilene, a private investigator from Texas is about fast cars, loose women, and .. he does stuff? Not sure what he does. He sucks at shooting guns, he drives cars fast and most of his time is spent turning down sexual advances from topless women. 

 

So there's blackmail, Russian espionage, computer secrets, a hillbilly race, and lots of tits. So many tits. A good portion of the plot was just musical montage to what basically amounts to softcore porn. 

 

 

 

EL TOPO: prepare yourself

this is weird

i mean, I like art movies and stuff but this one is W.E.I.R.D. 

A small river of blood

bandits and foot fetishes

sword fighta and guns 

tissue paper bibles

saddled up iguanas

execution at random

and that's the first 10 minutes!

 

a traveling gunman and his naked son save a woman from a gang of badmen, the gunman leaves his son behind as there's only room for 2 on the saddle. 

Homeboy's new gf is supportive of his gun shootery and encourages him to be the best by fighting the 4 best gunslingers in the desert. 

It gets weirder

 

 

Wife's away on residency: im watching "IN A LONELY PLACE"

Dixon Steele (Humphrey Bogart) (Mr. Squirrel) is a dynamite screenwriter with a temper on a short fuse.

Wrongfully accused but guiltily obvious, Dixon defends himself from accusations of an alleged murder of a cocktail waitress found in the Hollywood Hills all in the meanwhile turning his relationship rocky with his neighbor/girlfriend Laurel (academy award winner Gloria Grahame). 

Bogart is a badass who needs some anger management counseling. Willing to fight at the slightest misstep, external pressures create turmoil with his closest friends and acquaintances - not a great way to continue success in your business, even if he could make a blockbuster out of "the phone book" the movie. Maybe sometimes you shouldn't give in to every impulse. 

Star Wars in 1 day: Ep 6 - just kicking in